Help! My brain has fallen and it can’t get up. Just this past week I managed to take my dog Buster’s medication. 

Each morning, I lay-out, on the kitchen counter all my daily pills (many vitamins and 3 prescriptions). As I’m listening to the morning radio news, I stand at the counter, I swallow one or two pills at a time, in between bites of my morning toast, Pop-Tart, or whatever (I take vitamins in order to eat unhealthy). One morning, I decided to multitask and I also laid Buster’s daily pill to the right side of my pill pile.  In order to trick Buster into taking his daily medication, I must hide his pill in either a small piece of bread, a piece of cheese, or a bit of peanut butter.  That morning, after finishing my last bite of toast,  I walked over to the refrigerator for a small piece of cheese in which to hide Buster’s pill. When I return to the counter, to wrap Buster’s pill with cheese, I discovered his pill was gone. Yep, I had included Buster’s pill as part of my pill pile and swallowed it along with my toast. 

I’m not sure, but later that afternoon I may have killed 2 backyard azaleas. Have to wait till springtime to know for sure.

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There 5 United States Post Offices located around my home, all within a 15 minute drive. But, to avoid standing in slow moving lines with people buying money orders to send US dollars back to their homeland, I decided to go to the USPS.com website and order a roll of 100, $0.49/forever stamps.

Another reason for doing online stamp shopping is because of the wonderful inconvenient window hours that each of these post offices offer. They open bright and early at 10:00am, then after 3 long hours, they close for lunch between 1:00pm and 2:00pm, and then re-open for 2 hours, between 2:00 and 4:00 pm. That’s a grand total of 5 hours per day, 20 hours per week. Oh, I forgot to mention they do open their windows for 1 hour on Saturday, between 10:00 and 11:00am. So, that’s 21 hours per week that the windows are open to offer their customers quality service.

As I was saying, I went online and ordered 100 stamps. So, I’m spending $49.00 to purchase stamps and at checkout they add on $1.30 for shipping. Now, you would think, that they would say, “Look, you’re one of our loyal customers, you’ve been faithfully buying our stamps for years. We stop by your house almost everyday …. bringing you credit card applications, wonderful junk mail, and your bills. Since it’s not out of our way, there’s no real reason for you to pay us a $1.30 to deliver something that requires no additional effort on our part. So, just pay the $49.00 and forget about the $1.30 shipping.” At least that’s what most respectable businesses would say.

A Day A The Office

It’s interesting how the experts say a successful marketing campaign must include things like the products benefits, how the product will solve the client’s problems, define your unique selling proposition, and end with a call to action. Well, this years Budweiser (Anheuser-Busch) Super Bowl Commercial seems to march to the beat of a different drummer. Does not matter if you’re a beer customer or not, you will remember this commercial and the product. Click Here if you can’t see video:
http://youtu.be/uQB7QRyF4p4

I wasted at least 30 minutes in this restaurant’s restroom, and no one …… not a single McDonald’s employee came in to wash my hands. You’d think a major fast-food chain with a menu item called “Happy Meal” would understand the importance of keeping their customers happy. Just another example of improperly trained employees and poor customer service. When I complained to the manager, he looked me straight in the eyes like I was the idiot.

After Pop-Tart number 2, I realized the toaster-oven timer had stopped working. Evidently a result of the government shut-down. WARNING: Pop-Tarts are flammable.

BREAKING NEWS – Kate Middleton has not missed her due date. It’s a well orchestrated lie. The American news media is all concerned as to why the Duchess of Cambridge has gone past her July 13, due date. Think about it for a minute. It’s so simple, it’s easily overlooked. It’s all a part of the royal families way of boosting their countries suffering economy. It’s the perfect stimulus plan.

Remember way back in the seventeen hundreds, it was high taxes that resulted in the first Tea Party. We all know how the British’s will tax anything that’s moving, standing, or said. The clever British have done it to us again. Not only America, but to the entire world. They announced a way early due date of July 13, 2013, for the royal baby. Today is July 18, and the world is still waiting. They knew every country in the world would be sending news representatives to cover the big day. Foreigners with unlimited expense accounts, staying in Britain’s most expensive hotels, eating at the finest restaurants, and sightseeing.

The fictitious early due date has caused thousands of foreign news media representatives to extend their stay and spend more money. Even better for Britain, this is all foreign money. Not local money, but new money pouring into their economy.

In addition, the news media coverage is promoting England to the entire world and enticing thousands of tourist to make plans to travel to their country for months and even years into the future. This is better than a hour long feature special on the Travel Channel. This is a “no-cost” marketing and advertising plan that’s generating millions of new dollars (or pounds) to Britain’s economy. And, it’s all taxed, over and over again.

The British have taken an event, that cost them absolutely nothing and created the perfect economical recovery storm for their country. America may have won the revolution, but the British have figured a way to continue taxing us and we American’s are excited to be a part. After all, everyone loves a new baby …. especially if it’s born with an English accent.

I can remember way back when I was a kid, golf was considered a wealthy man’s game. A game that was for the above average intelligent successful people in the community.

No golf courses were opened to the general public.  They were all private and part of an exclusive country club. In our area only doctors, lawyers, and corporate executives played the game.  With the exception of ministers, priest, and rabbi’s that were allowed to play golf free every Monday.  That was the slow day at the golf course, and the time they scheduled all their lawn care, maintenance, and improvements. There were never any complaints because of lawn equipment interrupting someone’s game or effecting their scores.  The club owners and managers knew these gentlemen were held to a higher standard in the community, and would do nothing to damage their reputation. You know, like cussing out loud, throwing clubs, or using inappropriate hand gestures.

My-o-my, how things have changed.  Golf course maintenance is now conducted everyday of the week, with no such thing as FREE Monday golf for community ministers, priest, and rabbi’s.  They pay, they play, and they’re allowed to cuss out loud, throw clubs, or make inappropriate hand gestures.  Golf is no longer considered a game limited to just the highly intelligent wealthy successful people.  Made in China golf clubs are cheap and now any poor idiot can play. That includes the average destructive, property damaging, drunks, and/or the mental deficient American citizen.

To prove what I’m saying, Watch, Laugh, and Enjoy this Funny Golf Video.  The song makes it even more funny.

If the video is not visible, click here:  http://youtu.be/6FMyblJkLSM