Cowboy Wisdom:

1) Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
2) Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
3) A bumble bee is faster than a John Deere tractor.

Home Improvements:

I guy lives on a street where all the homes are built the same size and shape.

He asks his neighbor, “How much wallpaper did you buy to paper your
kitchen/dining room area?”

“I got eleven rolls,” answers the neighbor.

Two months later the guy meets his neighbor again and says, “It’s really funny – I put the wallpaper up in my kitchen/dining area and I had six rolls left over.”

Neighbor replies, “Yeah, so did I.“

PPS – Bonus Joke:

A banker, driving by a cattle ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had
happened.

He then asked what the animal was worth.

“Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years, it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I’m out.”

The banker sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

“Here, is the check for $900,” he said. “It’s postdated six years from now.”