Posts Tagged ‘Top’

Don’t Know Why I’ve Been This Happy

Thursday, November 9th, 2017

Only 46 sleeps until Christmas. Please enjoy this week’s funnies.

Safety Tip:  This Christmas, instead of risking a fall and breaking body parts. Do not hang lights around the eve of your house. Just purchase one of those “As Seen On TV”, Star Shower Motion Laser Projector things. You can put one up in less than 10 minutes, and they’re cheaper than hospital bills.

Please be careful …..  you know how I worry.​​​

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.Only 46 sleeps until Christmas. Please enjoy this week’s funnies. Safety Tip: This Christmas, instead of risking a fall and breaking body parts. Do not hang lights around the eve of your house. Just purchase one of those “As Seen On TV”, Star Shower Motion Laser Projector things. You can put one up in less than 10 minutes, and they’re cheaper than hospital bills. Please be careful ….. you know how I worry. Glenn Strange PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.


Wisdom and Nonsense:
1)  Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
2). If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
3). I intend to live forever. So far so good.


Don’t Ask:
A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey if I died would you get married again?”

The husband said, “No sweetie.”

The wife said, “I’m sure you would.”

So the husband said, “Okay, I probably would”

Then the wife asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”

And the husband replied, “Ya, I guess so.”

Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”

And the husband replied, “No, she’s left-handed.”​​


A Comment From Glenn’s Client
“Glenn was great last night, at St. Johnsbury Academy, in St. Johnsbury, VT. I found it gut splitting funny, my hubby and I laughed so hard!”
         Deborah Frenetic
Stanstead, Quebec, Canada​



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PPS – Your Bonus:

The Devil Made Me Do It:
A priest and a rabbi are in a car crash, and it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi says, “So you’re a priest. That’s interesting; I’m a rabbi. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left but were unhurt. This must be some kind of a sign.”

The priest replies, “Oh, yes, I agree. It’s a miracle that we survived and are here together.”

“And here’s another miracle,” says the rabbi. “My car is destroyed, but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink the wine and celebrate our good fortune,” he says, handing the bottle to the priest.

The priest nods in agreement, opens the wine, drinks half of it, and hands it back to the rabbi.

The rabbi takes it and puts the cap back on.

“Aren’t you going to have any? asks the priest.

“Not right now,” says the rabbi. “I think I’ll wait until after the police make their report.”


 

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