Posts Tagged ‘Storms’

Clean Humor

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

Hello There,

I hope you are well, dry, and undamaged. Please enjoy this week’s funnies.

Safety Reminder:  Sometimes, cleaning up and rebuilding after a hurricane can be just as dangerous as the storm. Think about what you’re doing.

Please be careful …..  you know how I worry.​​

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Pilot School 101:
1) Takeoff’s are optional. Landings are mandatory.
2) If God meant man to fly, He’d have given him more money.
3) The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot sweat.

An elderly couple was driving through Jacksonville, Florida. Irene was driving when she got pulled over by the Highway Patrol.

Patrolman asks her, ‘Ma’am did you know that you were speeding?’

Irene turns to her husband, Mack, and inquiries, ‘What did he say?’
Mack yells out, ‘He says you were speeding!’

The patrolman said, ‘May I see your license, please ma’ am?’

Irene, once again, turns to Mack and says, ‘What did he say?’
Once more, Mack, shouts out, ‘He wants to see your license!’
Irene gives the patrolman her driving license.

The patrolman says, ‘I see you are from Connecticut. I spent a week there once and had the worst week I’ve ever had.’

Irene turns to Mack and asks, ‘What did he say?’
Mack yells very loudly, ‘He thinks he knows you​!’

Quote from Glenn’s Client
“Those in attendance described the event as ‘hilarious, great time’. and one of the best parties we’ve ever had. I appreciate you making me look so good!”
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General Shale Products, LLC



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PPS – Your Bonus:Thanks to P. Parsons sharing this funny with us.

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor’s office should appreciate this! Doesn’t it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?
Here’s what happened to Walter:

Walter walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Walter said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Walter what he had… Walter said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Walter to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Walter what he had. Walter said, ‘Shingles..’ So the nurse gave Walter a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Walter to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Walter sitting patiently in the nude and asked Walter what he had.

Walter said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’
Walter said, ‘Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload ’em??’

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