Posts Tagged ‘speaker’

Adult Texting:

Thursday, September 5th, 2019

A mom texts, “Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?”
Son texts back, “I Don’t Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.”
The mom texts, “It’s ok, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister, love you too.”

Change:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

What Clients Say:

“Our customers are still calling and telling me that they enjoyed both the
comedy and the magic. The president of our company also commended your performance. We will definitely recommend you to others.”
Phil Hudgins
DeWitt Fertilizer Company

Who Uses Glenn’s Program?

Associations
Businesses
Church Events
Chambers of Commerce
Theatres
Corporate Events
Award Banquets
Safety Banquets
Appreciation Banquets
Safety Banquets
Family Events
Senior Adult Events
Conventions
Resorts
Fundraisers
Sales Meetings
Conferences
Conferences
Trade Shows
Office Events

PPS – Bonus Joke:

A husband and wife were having marriage problems and decided to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple went to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asked the husband, “What has brought you to this point, where you
are not able to keep this marriage together?” The husband said, “In the six weeks we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on one thing.” The wife said, “Seven weeks.”

Nothin’s For All Occasions

Friday, June 14th, 2013

My shopping cart was packed to the brim with peanut butter, assorted paper products, and twenty five pounds of Trail Mix. It was mid-day on a Tuesday, and I was casually bulk shopping while waiting on tires to be mounted and balanced at the local Costco Wholesale Warehouse.

As I was pushing my way to checkout, I passed by a large screen TV display promoting DIRECTV services. I noticed that the screen’s picture was frozen.  It looked to be some type of cooking show. My first thought was, “Boy, that’s a funny image for the picture to be paused.”  A short, baldheaded guy was holding a fork with a hot dog weenie half in his opened mouth. Next to him was a taller guy in a chef’s hat, pointing his index finger in the bald guy’s face as if to be saying: “Okay Oscar Meyer, you’re on my last nerve, and that’s your last WEENIE!”.

DIRECTV-Freeze

  I then noticed something even more comical. The DIRECTV service, that they were demonstrating was not working properly.  It was raining outside, and that was the reason the TV picture was frozen still. The rain was blocking the DIRECTV dish from receiving the satellite’s signal.  You know, there’s a reason clothing stores don’t display sweaters in the summer.

Costco may need to rethink their DIRECTV  display.  It’s like they’ve created a display that says to potential buyers, “Our satellite TV service delivers the ultimate in picture quality …….. except on rainy days, when it’s pretty much useless.  And, to prove how that looks, we’ve created this elaborate $15,000 in-store semi-working display.  Sign up today and receive a free deck of playing cards to help fill your rainy day voids.”

My purpose for writing this was to hopefully give you a reason to smile. It was not to slam DIRECTV or Costco. In fact, I am a DIRECTV customer and I’m pleased with both their product and service. As I was writing, I was reminded that even the best of products and services have their unique weakness, imperfections or flaws. When we’re making buying decisions, it’s our responsibility to determine the strengths that will benefit us the most and the weaknesses that will affect us the least. Nothing is 100% perfect for everyone. That’s why some people drive a sports car, others a mini-van. That’s why some choose satellite TV, others cable. And, that’s why eHarmony has had over 33 million sign-ups.

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