Posts Tagged ‘Hallmark Channel’

Hallmark Christmas Stories

Monday, November 20th, 2017

Well, it’s only the beginning of December and I’ve already had my fill of Hallmark Christmas movies. This year they started airing on November 5. All 22 new versions of the same old plot, with different faces. Everyone’s still whispering their lines, and you can hear soft jingling, tinkling bells in the background all through the entire show. Throughout the movie, you’re pulling for 2 people to realize they’re perfect for each other. Somewhere in the last 5 minutes, they give up, fall in love, the music gets louder, and snow starts falling. THE END. The only difference I see this year is that all the characters have upgraded their mobile phone service, and they’re using smartphones.  I’m just waiting to see if one of the characters has a pocket battery explosion. Probably not going to happen, cause that would add excitement, and that’s something no Hallmark movie has ever had. Thanks for listing. Pass me the tissues.IMG_0069 - Version 2 – Version 3

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Thursday, November 2nd, 2017

Today is”National Men Make Dinner Day”. Who gets to decide this kind of stuff anyway? Men are supposed to plan the menu (no BBQ. pizza, or grilling allowed). Purchase the ingredients, prepare, serve, and clean up. Looks like I’m passing out “Buy One Get One Free” Whopper Burger coupons.

WARNING: Only 53 days until Christmas! ​​​Those “Hallmark Christmas Stories” started airing October 27. Same story over and over, with different faces.​

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.


Semi-Wisdom:
1) Snowmen fall from the sky unassembled.
2)  How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door
you’re on.
3)  Shopping Tip: You can get shoes for under $2.50 at most bowling alleys.


Health and Fitness:
My gym has a new machine. Only used it for half an hour, as I started feeling sick.  It’s a great machine. It has everything I need – KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, and more.​


Highly Recommended
I’m excited, and I highly recommend you experience this hilarious musical group, “Three On a String”. Trust me! If you love great music and love laughing, you will be thoroughly entertained.​I first worked with these guys over 20 years ago, and we became instant friends.  (Well, at least I like them) They’re naturally funny and amazing musicians. Between them, they play over 25 instruments. Their programs contain bluegrass, folk, rock, country, a little rap, and even the classics. Did I mention they are funny?

Tickets for “Three On a String” performance are the perfect Christmas gift for your friends and family. Tickets are easy to purchase online, and they’re easy to wrap.  ​


Who? “Three on a String”
Where? Newberry Opera House on January 6, 2018
What? Great music, hilarious storytelling and comedy skits
Why? Once you see them, you’ll never forget them
Ticket Information: Click Here

PPS – Your Bonus:

“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Sam asked, “how do you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”

“Well, first,” he replied, “you ask him a simple question which he should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.”

“What sort of question?”

“Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made 3 voyages around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’

Sam thought for a moment, and then asked, “Do you have another example? I’ve never been much of a history buff?”

Hallmark Channel Overdose

Sunday, November 30th, 2014

I feel I’ll throw up, if I have to watch another “Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie”. My wife took possession of the TV remote Thanksgiving night. It’s now only the first part of December, and I’ve already had enough Christmas. Every Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie has the same basic storyline. All they do is change the faces, the names, and the “Welcome To” sign, at the edge of some small town. And, every character in the movie speaks with a low soft voice like they’re visiting the family at a funeral home.

A typical Hallmark storyline goes like this: Beautiful small town girl can’t wait to grow up, graduate college, and move to the big city to land a high paying corporate job, become famous, and live the dream life married to a wealthy doctor. After about 10 years of being away from her small hometown, she’s forced to return to care for one or both of her aging and/or dying parents. She returns home divorced by the doctor, and with a 6 year old daughter. She’s forced to take a job in retail for a friend of the family’s gift shop.

One day as she’s walking on her hometown downtown sidewalk, she runs into her old sweetheart. The guy she dated when she was a cheerleader and he was the high school star quarterback. It seems, 3 years ago, his wife was killed in a single car accident, on a rain-slickened highway. He’s still grieving and suffering from nightmares. He feels it was his fault, because of his low paying job, he couldn’t afford a new set of Michelins. Now, he’s a single dad with a handsome little boy, that just happens to be the same exact age as her beautiful daughter.

They mess around in the movie for a good 50 to 60 minutes. One’s in love with the other and the other keeps fighting it. Then with 12 minutes left in the movie, it’s always Christmas time. (I can still hear that Hallmark bell tinkling sound in the background. Same music that’s used in every Hallmark Movie.) Well, they finally agree that they’re in love and should get marry, because that’s what they should’ve done when they were young. The last scene is at night, and everyone in town’s happy, singing Christmas songs in the park, and it’s snowing like crazy. THE END. Pass me another Kleenex, and get ready cause there’s another one a comin on.

Sorry, thanks for listening. I feel better now.

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