Posts Tagged ‘Clean jokes’

Sample Letter to IRS

Thursday, August 29th, 2019

According to Google, today is “National Chop Suey Day”.  Now, that’s a reason to buy fireworks.

Enjoy your Suey Day, and be safe ….. you know how I worry,
Glenn Strange

Let Your Conscience be Your Guide:

Dear IRS:
I’m sending you this money because I cheated on my income tax and my conscience has been bothering me. If it doesn’t stop, I’ll send you the rest.​

First Day in Court:

The court was prosecuting a guy suspected of burglary. The judge asked everyone to stand and state his or her name and role for the court reporter.
“Mike Bent, deputy prosecutor.”
“Libby James, probation officer.”
“Sam Gordon, public defender.”
“Willie, I’m the one that stole the truck.”

What Clients Say:

“Your combination of magic and comedy made our celebration a huge success. People are still talking about your “Mind Reading Kit.”

James Harlan

Eastman kodak

Who Uses Glenn’s Program?

Associations
Businesses
Church Events
Chambers of Commerce
Theatres
Corporate Events
Award Banquets
Safety Banquets
Appreciation Banquets
Safety Banquets
Family Events
Conventions
Resorts
Fundraisers
Sales Meetings
Conferences
Trade Shows
Office Events

PPS – Bonus Joke:

Bill was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Jack who was dying.
Bill asked, “If there’s baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?”
Jack nodded yes just as he passed away.
That night while Bill was sleeping, he heard Jack’s voice in a dream, “Bill…”
“Jack! What is it?” asked Bill.
“I have good news and bad news from heaven.”
“What’s the good news?” “There is baseball in heaven, but the bad news is you’re pitching on Tuesday.”

Laugh at Your Problems

Thursday, May 16th, 2019

Remember. “Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.” You’re welcome.


Kids:

Billy: “Mom, are our neighbors very poor people?
Mother: “I don’t think so, Billy. Why do you ask?”
Billy: “Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin.”


Yard Sale:

I spotted several pairs of men’s Levi’s at a yard sale.
They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33.
So I asked the owner if he had a pair.
He shook his head, and said. “I’m still wearing the 33s, come back next year.”


The Artist:

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any recent interest in his paintings which happened to be on display.

“I have good news and bad news,” the gallery owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.”

“What did you say?” questioned the artist.

“When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The gentleman was your doctor.”

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