Posts Tagged ‘Church’

Always Borrow Money …

Thursday, October 3rd, 2019

Always borrow money from a pessimist. They won’t be expecting you to pay it back.

Hurtful words never go away. Be careful what you say ….. you know how I worry,

Glenn Strange

A Wise Person Once Said:

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.

In the Classroom:

TEACHER: “So your dog ate your homework?”
JOHNNY: “Yes, Mrs. Hanny.”
TEACHER: “And where is your dog right now?”
JOHNNY: “He’s at the vet. He doesn’t like math any more than I do.”

What Clients Say:

“What a fun-filled presentation! Everyone enjoyed it tremendously. As a matter of fact, on the way back to the office, I heard someone say, “It’s good to start the day off with a laugh!”
Bill D’Andrea – Sr. Associate Athletic Director
Clemson University

Specializing in Making People Happy

Book Glenn Strange

Contact your favorite Speakers Bureau, Booking Agency,
or Call Direct 864-439-1369

Who Uses Glenn’s Program?

Associations
Businesses
Upward Awards Night
Chambers of Commerce
Church Events
Theatres
Corporate Events
Award Banquets
Safety Banquets
Appreciation Banquets
Safety Banquets
Family Events
Senior Adult Events
Senior Adult Events
Conventions
Resorts
Fundraisers
Sales Meetings
Conferences
Office Events

PPS – Bonus Joke:

A Baptist minister and a Pentecostal preacher were discussing the best
positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby.

“Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,” the Baptist minister said.

“No,” said the Pentecostal preacher. “The best way is standing with your hands outstretched to Heaven.”

The repairman interrupted. “The best prayin’ I ever did was the time I was hangin’ upside down from a telephone pole.”

Only Four Days Until April 1

Thursday, March 28th, 2019

Only four days until April Fools’ Day. It’s time to start planning “who” and “what.”


Wisdom Time:

Talking to yourself is okay. Sometimes you need expert advice. The question is, “Do you listen?”


Twins:

My brother has just started dating a wonderful girl, and he told me she has a twin. I ask him how he could tell them apart? He said, “It’s easy. Addison paints her fingernails and Allen has a beard.​


Give the Gift of Laughter

Book Glenn for Your Event?

Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights
Conventions, Awards Banquets, After Dinner, Church Events

864-439-1369
If You Prefer, You May
Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau


PPS – Bonus Joke:

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her cheek, then his again. Finally, she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “Yes, sweetheart,” he answered, “God made me a long time ago.” “Oh,” she paused… “Grandpa, did God make me too?” “Yes, indeed, honey,” he said, “God made you just a little while ago.” Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t he?”


Only 307 Days Until …

Thursday, February 21st, 2019

Only 307 days until Christmas. Order your fruitcake now.


BE careful … you know how I worry,
Glenn Strange


It’s Your Choice:

My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please, send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.


Big News:

A young wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great
news. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three living in this house instead of two.”
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was
glowing with happiness as kissed and held his wife closely.
She said, “I’m glad that you feel this way; my mother will be here tomorrow.”


PPS – Bonus Joke:

Stevie had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time.

Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind Stevie.
“I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive,” says Stevie.

“Nope,” dad replied, “I’m gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you did to me for all those years.”


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