Posts Tagged ‘Christian’

Laughter Leads to Loving

Thursday, February 14th, 2019

Because today is February 14, this is a Special Valentine Love edition.

BE careful … you know how I worry,
Glenn Strange

PS- Don’t miss this week’s Bonus Joke, at the bottom.


Young Love:

Little Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Little Boy: “Really?”
Little Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”


Business Marketing:

A lady walks into a post office and notices a middle-aged, well-dressed man
standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As he seals each envelop he sprays it with a puff of perfume.

The woman’s curiosity gets the better of her, so she goes up to the man and asks what he is doing. The man replies, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?

“But why would you do that?” she asks.

“Because I’m a divorce lawyer.”


I’m Excited:

On March 9, 2019, I will be performing two shows at the “Country Tonite Theatre” in Pigeon Forge, TN. I’m honored to be a part of the entertainment for this year’s “Winter Carnival of Magic”. Magicians and variety entertainers will be attending this long-running convention from all parts of the US, and the surrounding world. In other words, “There’s going to be a lot of professional deceivers there.”

Let’s Work Together to Bring
Fun and Laughter to Your Event?

Email: info@GlennStrange.com

Or CALL: 8640-439-1369

Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights
Conventions, Awards Banquets, After Dinner, Church Events
If You Prefer, You May Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau

PPS – Bonus Joke:

The Kids Were Asked

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

“You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Allen, age 10

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10

“No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.” Fred,
age 6

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

“Married people usually look happy to talk to other people.” Eddie, age 6

“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the
same kids.” Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each
other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” Lynnette, other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” Lynnette, age 8

“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them
interested enough to go for a second date.” Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

“I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.” Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OK TO KISS SOMEONE?

“When they’re rich.” Pam, age 7

“The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.” Curt, age 7

“The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.” Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

“Single is better, for the simple reason that I wouldn’t want to change no
diapers. Of course, if I did get married, I’d just phone my mother and have her come over for some coffee and diaper-changing.” Kirsten, age 10

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET
MARRIED?

“There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?” Kelvin, age 8

“You can be sure of one thing – the boys would come chasing after us just the same as they do now.” Roberta, age 7

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.” Ricky, age 10

Guess What Day It Is?

Thursday, January 24th, 2019

Today Jan 24, is “National Peanut Butter Day”. I hear “Jelly” is offended. BE careful … you know how I worry,
Glenn Strange

PS- Don’t miss this week’s Bonus Joke, at the bottom.


Math Question:

The teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention.
She called on him and asked, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?”
Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”


Simple Definition:

Here’s the difference between “Complete” and “Finished”.
When you marry the right person, you are Complete.
When you marry the wrong person, you are Finished.
And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are Completely Finished..!!!


Glenn’s Client Said:

“Glenn Strange recently gave an encore performance at our church. I say encore because the response to Glenn’s entertaining humor and magic four years ago was such that it commanded that we invite him again. If you are looking for clean, competent, and quality entertainment for any group, I highly recommend Glenn.”

Jerry Long – Shandon Baptist Church

Making Happy People Appear:

Your Event Will be FUN?

Contact: info@GlennStrange.com
Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights
Conventions, Awards Banquets, After Dinner, Church Events
If You Prefer, You May
Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau


PPS – Bonus Joke:

Thinking back, I remember going through Hurricane Irma in Florida. I was ready for it, but my wife was not!


When the wind reached its full screaming pitch, with the trees snapping and threshing, the rain streaming horizontally, tin roof panels and destroyed fences flying by, as well as the unnerving sound-levels, my wife was firmly rooted to one spot.
She stared and stared through the glass of the window, unmoving, with her nose pressed to the windowpane. The look of stark fear in her eyes will stay with me forever.


Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds temporarily lessened, I open the door and let her in.


The Art of Swatting Flies

Thursday, January 10th, 2019

Only 349 Days until Christmas.

BE careful … you know how I worry,
Glenn Strange

PS- Don’t miss this week’s Bonus Joke, at the bottom.


Swatting Flies:

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” She asked.

“Hunting Flies” He responded.

“Oh. Killing any?” She asked.

“Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,” he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell them apart?”

He responded, 3 were on the TV control, and 2 were on the phone.”


Psychic Power:

A male frog goes to a psychic. The psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog becomes excited, “This is great! Will I meet her at a party?”
“No,” says the psychic, “in her biology class.”​


Glenn’s Client Said:

“Glenn’s message gave the audience an opportunity to let all of their daily thoughts and routines go to the back of their minds and enjoy a great evening of laughter. To leave the group with such a moving life lesson made the comedy and magic even better.”
C. L. Laxton
Wyoming County EDA


This E-mail’s Purpose is:

Laughter is a gift that should be shared. So, brighten someone’s day and forward this email to them.

Making Happy People Appear

Your Event Will be FUN?

info@GlennStrange.com
Or Just hit *Info*Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights
Conventions, Awards Banquets, After Dinner, Church Events

If You Prefer, You May
Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau


PPS – Bonus Joke:

A senior citizen drives his brand new BMW out the car salesroom. Taking off down the highway, he floored it to 90, enjoying the wind blowing through. Amazing he thought as he flew down the road, looking in his rearview mirror, he saw a police car behind him, blue light flashing, siren blaring.

”I can get away from him – no problem! ” He floored it to130, then 140 …then 150 … Suddenly, he thought, ”What on earth am I doing? I’m too old for this nonsense !” So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the officer walked up to the driver’s side of the BMW looked at his watch and said, ”Sir, my shift ends in ten minutes, Today is Friday, and I’m taking off for the weekend, If you can give me a reason I’ve never heard before for why you were speeding, I’ll let you go.”

The Man looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, ” Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman, I thought you were bringing her back.”

”Have a good day, Sir….!!

Can You Believe it?

Thursday, March 1st, 2018

Can you believe it? It’s already March 1st. Seems like yesterday was just February.

Make someone laugh today.  Forward this week’s email funnies to a friend.

Please be careful … you know how I worry.
Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.


What They Say:
They say you can’t get a decent job without an education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!


Anagrams:
THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT


How Important is Laughter?
Are you looking for a theme for your next conference or convention? Why not make it “Investing in Humor”?  Everyone needs to laugh more, and everyone feels better when they do.  Hugh benefits for everyone!


Make Your Next Event Fun
Pick up the phone and

Let’s Start Planning

864-439-1369
Are Just hit *Info*

PPS – Your Bonus:Leo, an auto mechanic, had moved from New York City to work for a Houston, TX, Mercedes dealership.   He was removing the cylinder heads from the engine of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Joseph Lamelas. He was standing quietly off to the side, waiting for the service manager to take a look at his car. Leo shouted across the garage, “Hey Lamelas! Is dat you? “Come on ova’ here a minute.”

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Leo was working. Leo straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get da big bucks, when you an’ me is doing da same work?”

Dr. Lamelas looked at Leo and replied, “Yes, but can you do it with the engine running?”

watch demo

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