Posts Tagged ‘Christian Comedian’

Hallmark Christmas Stories of 2016

Sunday, December 4th, 2016

Well, it’s only the beginning of December and I’ve already had my fill of Hallmark Christmas movies. This year they started airing on November 5, 2016. All 22 new versions of the same old plot, with different faces. Everyone’s still whispering their lines, and you can hear soft jingling, tinkling bells in the background all through the entire show. Throughout the movie, you’re pulling for 2 people to realize they’re perfect for each other. Somewhere in the last 5 minutes, they give up, fall in love, the music gets louder, and snow starts falling. THE END. The only difference I see this year is that all the characters have upgraded their mobile phone service, and they’re using smartphones.  I’m just waiting to see if one of the characters has a pocket battery explosion. Probably not going to happen, cause that would add  excitement, and that’s something no Hallmark movie has ever had. Thanks for listing. Pass me the tissues.IMG_0069 - Version 2 – Version 3

One of Those Days:

Tuesday, December 29th, 2015

Recently, I was traveling to do a magic show in a town that was 4 hours, 20 minutes Google time from my home. It had been one of those days that we all have from time to time. Off and on misty rain with interstate traffic heavier than normal. Earlier a small rock slide in the right-hand lane had held me up, and there had also had been a 4 car, 2 truck rubbernecking accidents in the opposite bound lane. I was behind schedule, and it was well past my lunch time.

I noticed the upcoming exit had a restaurant that’s known for it’s faster than normal drive-through window. You know the restaurant with the golden arches, chicken nuggets, and a kid’s clown. I exited the interstate and drove straight to the driveway of the crowded parking lot. The drive-through line was medium-size in length, but that shouldn’t be a problem because of the speed at which the cars were being served.

I fell in line behind the last vehicle, loosened my seatbelt, dug out my wallet, and had my money ready. I didn’t want anything to cause my drive-through time to be longer than normal. It was then, I noticed the markings on the vehicle in front of me.

WARNING: If it’s passed your “eat time”, you’re in a hurry, and you’re trying to save time by going through a drive-through window, DO NOT fall in behind a car, truck, or mini-van with this type rear glass markings. Especially if it’s one of those drive-throughs that has the 9-inch concrete curbing on each side. You may be there for hours.

At Least They Didn't Ask to Pay Separately

At Least They Didn’t Pay Separately

Best Job In the World

Thursday, February 26th, 2015

The TV weather-person has to be the best job in the world. They never get fired for being wrong, they receive praises when they call it right, and their boss lets them play outside when it snows.

WEATHER ALART: It’s snowing in SC tonight. Please remember to keep fresh unfrozen water and food for your outside pets, the wild birds, and the TV weather people. They’re all outside and unable to care for themselves.

weather

Good Foot Brian Williams …. What a Guy

Saturday, February 14th, 2015

brian-williams

I first met Brian Williams in 2004, where we finished 5th and 6th in the New York City Marathon. We became best friends in 2005, at the Quebec Winter Triathlon. Where he twisted his ankle on a used water bottle and was ready to give up. I threw him on my back and we tied for 9th.

Brian was devastated because he believed, and was convinced he would be unable to compete in running events for at least a year. After all, that’s what his doctor, Dr. Oz had told him. Brian was slipping into a deep depression. He was losing his passion for running.

I had to do something, and do it quickly. That’s when I came up with the brilliant idea that Brian and I would team up to go on the Southeastern Three Legged Sack Race Circuit. Just to verify my plan, I contacted my personal friend, Dr. Phil. He was in the middle of show taping, but for some reason, on that day he took my call during a commercial break. He agreed that my plan of competing in Three Legged Sack Races would be a good activity to keep Brian from depression. He also said, he wished he had thought of it. Little did I know how competitive Brian would be by using just his good foot.

That 2005 summer we entered and won every Three Legged Sack Race on the Southeastern Circuit. Over 23 races within a 16 week period. It was an extremely tiring, demanding, and grueling schedule. Lots of farm day festivals, county fairs, and medium size church picnics.

23 first place wins! I don’t think I’ve every witnessed anyone equal to Brian’s strong determination, confidence, and his laser like focus. … Brian Williams …. what a guy.

THE REST OF THE STORY
So, now you know where the slogan, “Put Your Best Foot Forward”  came from…. Thank you,  Brian Williams …. what a guy.

written and lied by Glenn Strange 2015ⓒ

watch demo

Newsletter & Updates Signup!