Posts Tagged ‘#1’

Daylight Savings Time Starts This Sunday

Thursday, March 8th, 2018

“Daylight Savings Time” is this Sunday morning. I don’t mind “Daylight Savings Time” as much as I hate getting up at 2:00 am to move my clocks forward. You’d think they would have picked a time when people were awake.

Make someone laugh today.  Send them a link to this site.

Please be careful … you know how I worry.
Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Daylight Savings Time Confusion:
“The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows. ” – Steven Wright

Actual Courtroom Records:
From a book called “Disorder in the Courts”, By Charles Sevilla:

ATTORNEY:  Now Doctor, isn’t it true that when a Person dies in his sleep, He doesn’t know about it until the next Morning?
WITNESS:  Did you actually Pass the Bar Exam?
ATTORNEY:  She had three Children, Right?
ATTORNEY:  How many were Boys?
ATTORNEY:  Were there any Girls?
WITNESS:  Your Honor, I think I need a different Attorney. Can I get a new Attorney?
ATTORNEY:  ALL your Responses MUST be Oral, OK? What School did you go to?

Make Your Next Event “Fun”

Got Questions? 
For Answers
Call  864-439-1369
Are Just hit *Info*

PPS – Your Bonus:

Two men who played golf together frequently. One was several strokes better than the other. The lesser player was very proud and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game.

One Saturday morning, he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, “I’ve been trying to beat you for so long that I’m about ready to give up. But, I heard about this golfing gorilla, and I was wondering if it would be alright if he plays for me today. In fact, if you’re game, I’d like to try to get back all the money I’ve lost to you this year. I figure comes to about a thousand bucks. Are you willing?” The other guy thought about it for a minute and then decided to play the gorilla. “After all, how good could a gorilla be at golf?” he thought.

Well, the first hole was a straightaway par 4 of 450 yards. The guy hits a beautiful tee shot, 275 yards down the middle, leaving himself a 5 iron to the green. The gorilla takes a few powerful practice swings and then laces the ball 450 yards, right at the pin, stopping about 6 inches away from the hole.

The guy turns to his friend and says “That’s incredible, I would have never believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. But, you know what, I’ve seen enough. I’ve got no interest in being humiliated by this gorilla golfing machine. You send this gorilla back to where he comes from. I’ll write you a check.”

After handing over the check, the guy asks, “By the way, how’s that gorilla’s putting?” The other guy replies, “Same as his driving.” “That good, huh?” “No, I mean, he hits putts the same way – 450 yards, right down the middle!”


Can You Believe it?

Thursday, March 1st, 2018

Can you believe it? It’s already March 1st. Seems like yesterday was just February.

Make someone laugh today.  Forward this week’s email funnies to a friend.

Please be careful … you know how I worry.
Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

What They Say:
They say you can’t get a decent job without an education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

How Important is Laughter?
Are you looking for a theme for your next conference or convention? Why not make it “Investing in Humor”?  Everyone needs to laugh more, and everyone feels better when they do.  Hugh benefits for everyone!

Make Your Next Event Fun
Pick up the phone and

Let’s Start Planning

Are Just hit *Info*

PPS – Your Bonus:Leo, an auto mechanic, had moved from New York City to work for a Houston, TX, Mercedes dealership.   He was removing the cylinder heads from the engine of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Joseph Lamelas. He was standing quietly off to the side, waiting for the service manager to take a look at his car. Leo shouted across the garage, “Hey Lamelas! Is dat you? “Come on ova’ here a minute.”

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Leo was working. Leo straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, “So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind ’em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get da big bucks, when you an’ me is doing da same work?”

Dr. Lamelas looked at Leo and replied, “Yes, but can you do it with the engine running?”

Invest In Laughter

Thursday, February 22nd, 2018

Thank You to all my many friends and clients for the beautiful President Day cards. You’ll never know how much they meant to me.

Have a great week and laugh, it feels good. ​Please be careful ….. call me when you get there … you know how I worry. ​
Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Love Funnies:
1)  “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – Groucho Marx
2)  “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” – Richard Jeni
3)  “What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” – Cindy Garner

The Final Exam:
On his final exam, Buddy was stumped. He didn’t know any…not one… answer.
Finally, he wrote: “God alone knows the answers to these questions.”
When he got his report, it was written: “God gets an A. You get an F.”

How Important is Laughter?
The next time you are planning your very important banquet, convention, or meeting, remember: “An Event Without Laughter is Called a Funeral.” – Glenn Strange

It’s Easy to Make Your Event Fun
Pick up the phone and

Let’s Start Planning

Are Just hit *Info*

PPS – Your Bonus:One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she said. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like this for only $59.00.”


Share a Laugh Today

Thursday, February 15th, 2018

I appreciate you taking your time to read these funnies. Pass them along to your friends. Have a great week!

Please be careful ….. call me when you get there … you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Small Town Doctor:
A small town Doctor was famous in the area for always catching large fish. One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy. The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the Doctor used his fishing scales. The baby weighed 15 lbs 10 oz.

Wisdom and Nonsense:
1)  A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

2)  Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 8 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel with a pair of pliers.

3) Remember back when we were kids, and every time it was below zero out they closed school?  Me neither.

Laughter Is Important:
Laughter is the closest distance between two people. — Victor Borge 

An Event Without Laughter is Soon Forgotten.
Make your Event Rememberable.
Call for Glenn Strange

Just hit *Info*
Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights,
Conventions, Awards Banquets, Church Events

If You Prefer, You May
Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau

PPS – Your Bonus:
These are from actual courtroom records published in a book called “Disorder in the Courts”, By Charles Sevilla
Passed along to me by R. Vinson.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your Husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where are you, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: What is your Date of Birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What Year?
WITNESS: Every Year.

“National Kite Flying Day”

Thursday, February 8th, 2018

Hello << Test First Name >>,

Today, February 8, is “National Kite Flying Day”. So, it’s okay to tell someone to, “Go fly a kite.”

Please be careful ….. you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Don’t Worry:
Why worry about gaining a few extra pounds? Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Good Career Choice:
A plumber was called to a doctor’s home to fix leaking faucet that had kept the surgeon awake the night before. After twenty minutes, the plumber handed the doctor a bill for $150.

The surgeon exclaimed, ‘I don’t charge this amount, and I’m a surgeon!”

The plumber replied, “neither did I when I was a surgeon.”

Quote To Live By:
A day without laughter is a day wasted. — Charlie Chaplin

Specializing In

Making Events Fun
Call 864-439-1369
Just hit *Info*
Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights,
Conventions, Awards Banquets, Church Events

If You Prefer, You May
Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau

PPS – Your Bonus:
An elderly couple noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down, so they don’t forget.

They went home, and the lady asks her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. “You might want to write it down,” she said. The husband said, “No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream.” She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. “Write it down,” she told him, and again he said, “No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream.” Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. “Write it down,” she told her husband, and again he said, “No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top.”

So he goes to get the ice cream and spends over 30 minutes in the kitchen. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, “Where’s my toast?”

Groundhog Day

Thursday, February 1st, 2018

Only one more day until Groundhog Day. Just think, if January only had only 30 days, Groundhog Day would be on February 1.

Enjoy this week’s jokes.  Remember, laughter is a gift that must be shared.

Please be careful ….. you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Tee Shirt Sayings:
1)  I could be a morning person… if morning happened at Noon.
2)  Lead me not into temptation… oh, heck, just follow me– I know a shortcut.
3)  I’m not arguing… I’m just explaining why I’m right!​

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”

Specializing in

Making Events Fun
Call 864-439-1369
Just hit *Info*
Conferences, Meetings, Outreach, Comedy Nights,
Conventions, Awards Banquets, Church Events

If You Prefer, You May
Book Glenn Through Your Favorite
Booking Agency or Speakers Bureau

PPS – Your Bonus:
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, ‘I bet you don’t know what day this is?’

‘Of course, I do,’ he answered indignantly, as he slammed the door, and drove to his office.

At 11 o’clock, the doorbell rang.  The wife answered, and there at her front door was a UPS driver, in his had was a box containing 12 red roses. Later, at 2 pm there was another knock at the door, this time it was a deluxe box of Belgian chocolates.

Eventually, the husband came home, tired after a hard day’s work.  His wife greeted him by saying: ‘First the flowers, then the chocolates, I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!’

Little Known Credit Card Warning

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

Only 431 days left to pay off this past Christmas.

Credit Card WARNING:  You could damage your tooth’s enamel when you use them like a toothpick …..  you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS joke at the very end.

Fact, Question, Prayer:
!)  I don’t need anger management. I need obnoxious people to stop annoying me!
2) Why do I have to press one for English when they’re just gonna transfer to someone in a foreign country?
3) Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

House Pets:
When people see a cat’s litter box, they always ask, ‘Oh, do you have a cat?’

Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for visitors!

It’s cold and flu season. Drink lots of liquid, get plenty of rest, and book Glenn Strange for your next event. Laughter is the Best Medicine.​

Specializing in

Making Events Fun
Call 864-439-1369
Just hit *Info*

PPS – Your Bonus:
Thank you to R. Vinson for this weeks bonus funnyLast  Wednesday a rear seat passenger in a taxi heading Grand Central Station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments, everything was silent in the cab. Then, the shaken driver said, “Are you OK? I’m so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”

The  badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle you so badly.”
The driver replied, “No, no, I’m the one who is sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for 25 years.”

Share the Laughter

Thursday, December 21st, 2017

Only 4 sleeps until Christmas. I’m excited.

HEALTH WARNING: Doctors warn that Christmas trees can make you sick.  I can believe that because Hallmark Christmas Stories make me ill.  Please be careful …….. you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS at the very end.

Christmas Quotes:
“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas”. – Kin Hubbard

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson

“When you stop believing in Santa you get underwear.” – Unknown

“I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.” – Steven Wright

“If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight.” – Author Unknown

“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.”
– Author Unknown

When Choosing Entertainment:
No one will ever complain because you made them laugh too much.
Glenn Strange Comedy Magician, now booking for 2018.

Coming To Newberry Opera House
Saturday, Jan 6, 2018
“Three on a String”
Start your New Year off with laughter. A performance you’ll never forget and you’ll be talking about for years to come. Don’t miss “Three on a String”, You will laugh have fun and hear great music. Yes, there are 4 of them, where there was once 3. They’re better at music and comedy than they are math. Come and hear the rest of the story. Clean Fun Entertainment for the whole family. Newberry Opera House, Newberry, SC, Saturday, Jan 6, 2018. CLICK HERE for ticket information. The above picture was made at Lyric Theatre, in Birmingham, AL.

PPS – Your Bonus:All I Needed to Know About Life I learned from Santa
1) Encourage people to believe in you.
2) Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice.
3) Don’t pout.
4) It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive.
5) Some days it’s ok to feel a little chubby.
6) Make your presents known.
7) Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want.
8) Bright red can make anyone look good.
9) Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained.
10) If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important.
11) Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say: “HO, HO, HO!”


Only 11 Sleeps Until Christmas

Thursday, December 14th, 2017

Only 11 sleeps until Christmas. If today, you bought a dozen Krispy Kreme Doughnuts and ate one per day, your last doughnut would be eaten the day after Christmas. Plus, it would probably make you sick.

HEALTH WARNING: Doughnuts should be eaten within two days of the “Hot Light”.  Please be careful …….. you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS at the very end.

Grandma Wisdom:
One Christmas, a mother, decided she was not going to remind her kids to send thank you notes. Because of that, the kids’ grandmother did not receive any thank notes for the Christmas checks she sent to the kids.

The next Christmas, all the grandkids stopped by in person to thank their grandmother for their checks.

Grandmother’s neighbor noticed and asked, “What caused this change in behavior?” The grandmother replied, “Simple. This year I didn’t sign their checks.”

The Christmas Wish:
When a father asked his five-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, the son replied, “A baby sister.”

As it turned out, the wife was pregnant and delivered on Christmas Eve. On Christmas day she brought home a brand new baby sister for their son.

The next year, the father asked his young son what he was thinking about for Christmas. The son said, “If it wouldn’t make mommy too uncomfortable, I’d like a pony.”

When Choosing Entertainment:
Remember: No one will complain because you made them laugh too much.

Photo From Backstage
Making Lighting Adjustments
A Special
“Thank You”
A special “Thank You” to Three on a String, and the Lyric Theater staff, and technical crews for making the Three on a String – Home for Christmas – Laughing All The Way Concert a huge sellout success. Hundreds of hours of planning and preparation went into presenting an event that ran flawlessly.  The two-hour concert included “Three on a String”, “Something Else Trio”, “The Warblers”, and “Glenn Strange”.

PPS – Your Bonus:A man walked into a doctor’s waiting room and asked if could see the doctor. The receptionist was hesitant to let him in, especially as it was Christmas Eve and she was waiting to turn off the Christmas lights in the waiting room and go home; but he was very insistent.

The Doctor, having had completed all his consultations for the day and feeling in a ‘good will to men’ mood, agreed to see him.

The man entered in a somewhat aimless manner and after some hesitation flopped into a chair and looked nervously around the room.

“How can I help you?” asked the doctor.

“Well, it’s like this,” said the man. “I keep thinking I’m a moth.”

“A moth?”

“Yes,” the man replied. “I’m convinced that I’m a moth.”

“Well I’m very sorry, but you’re in the wrong place. What you need is a psychiatrist”.

“That’s what I’ve been thinking” replied the man.

“Well, as it happens, I know just the man.” said the doctor “I’ll give him a call and see if he can fix an appointment for you after the holiday.”
The man agreed, and the doctor made the appointment.

“Tell me,” said the doctor “It must have been very apparent from the sign outside that I’m a general practitioner. So if you already know you need to see a psychiatrist, why did you come in?”

“Well,” the man said in a resigned voice “The door was open, and the lights were on …..”.


Lyric Theatre, Dec 12, Be There!

Thursday, November 30th, 2017

Christmas a Comin:  Only 25 more sleeps.

SAFETY DRIVING TIPIt must be a law because people start driving crazy on Black Friday and continue until New Year’s day. Please watch for them …. you know how I worry.

Glenn Strange

PS – Don’t miss your BONUS at the very end.

What to Say:
Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don’t Like
10. Hey! There’s a gift!
9. Now, I have something to wear when I shop at Wal-Mart.
8. If I had not just gained 15 pounds, this would fit perfectly.
7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.
6. What an ideal gift, and it’s fireproof.
5. If my dog destroys this, I’ll be furious!
4. I love it — but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
2. It is true. It is better to give than to receive.
1. You shouldn’t have, I really don’t deserve this.

The Perfect Gift:
A man bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, his best friend ask, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles?”

“She did,” he replied. “But no one sells a fake Jeep?”

Make Your Event the Best
Not everyone loves to dance, but everyone loves to laugh. Plan your next special event around Quality Professional Clean Comedy. Go to and look at the type audiences Glenn’s performed for.

Less Than 70 Tickets Available
Show Will SELL OUT
Three on a String – Home for Christmas: Laughing all the Way! With The Warblers! Something Else Trio! and myself. December 12, at the beautiful 750 seat, Lyric Fine Arts Theatre, in Birmingham, AL. Tickets available now at
Don’t forget, “Three On a String” will also be at the beautiful “Newberry Opry House” in Newberry, SC, on January 6, 2018. Great music and hilarious comedy. Tickets to this event make great Christmas gifts for your special friends.  Tickets fit all sizes. Available now at

PPS – Your Bonus:Sally, a lady about 50 years old walked up and sat on Santa’s lap.

So, Santa smiled and asked, ‘What do you want for Christmas?’

‘Something for my mother, please,’ replied Sally.

‘Something for your mother? Well, that’s very loving and thoughtful of you,’ smiled Santa. ‘What do would you like me to bring her?’

Without hesitation, Sally replied, ‘A rich son-in-law.’


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