A Time To Laugh

August 3, is “National Watermelon Day”. So, take a watermelon to lunch.

SAFETY WARNING: Watermelons are 91.5% water. So, if you’re planning to travel across a desert, you should take watermelons with you. Remember, they’re hard to carry because they don’t have handles. …..  you know how I worry.


Bits of Wisdom:
1)  My idea of a balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.
2)  Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
3)  The way some people find fault, you’d think there was some kind of reward.


First Date:
After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone, so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

Just has he had planned his phone rang at 8:15. He told his date, “Please forgive me; I must take this call.” When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”

“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “Mine was scheduled to die at 8:35.”​​


Quote from Glenn’s Client
“Thanks a million-jillion-gazillion times for the superb performance ….!!!
We have never gotten that kind of positive response from our student body… EVER!!! You certainly were the
right man, with the right cause, at the right time… for all the right reasons!!!”
      M. Walker
Department of Juvenile Justice​


PPS – Your Bonus:

Bank Business
The loans officer says the bank will need security for a $10,000 loan, so the man hands over the keys and documents of his new Rolls Royce, parked the nearby bank’s parking lot. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank’s underground secure garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns and repays the $10,000, plus interest, which is $25.08. The loans officer says: “We are delighted to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. You have a good-sized, harbourside mansion, a sizeable equity portfolio and no debt at all. We are curious as to why you would bother to borrow $5000?”

The man replied: “Where else in New York City, can I park my car safely for two weeks for $25?”


Worry Free Clean Comedy
Everyone Remembers Laughing
Call 864-439-1369
Just hit *Info*

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