Kicked Out of Heaven

Only 19 days until Halloween. Time to buy your candy or prepare to sit quietly in the dark.

BE careful … you know how I worry,
Glenn Strange

PS- Don’t miss this week’s Bonus joke, at the bottom.


Baby Brother:
Little Johnny’s new baby brother was screaming up a storm. Johnny asked his mom, “Where’d he come from?”
“He came from heaven, Johnny.”
“Wow! I can see why they threw him out!”


New Math:
The teacher asks Mike if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers little Mike.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven,” answers Mike.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did an excellent job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers Mike.


What the Chamber of Commerce Said:
“We have received compliments all week on Glenn Strange’s performance. Our guest left the event in a positive and cheerful mode, reminded of Glenn’s incredibly meaningful closure. They’re also still trying to figure out how in the world he made it snow.”
         Ginnie Currin
Granville County Chamber of Commerce


Make Your Next Event Fun

PPS – Your Bonus:
Documented 9-1-1 Calls:

Dispatcher:9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher:9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table, and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before, and I’m sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher:9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven, but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller:  I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller:  Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.


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